ONE MORE YEAR

http://britbachmann.com

If anything, muse is a floating abstraction that reveals itself unpredictably. It seems to come from nowhere, but in fact is rooted in words, language, books, the process of reading. I believe that you should fill yourself up with good things, the things that give you pleasure, make you happy, give you a high, a spark, a thrill. And then, if you’re lucky, one or two of those things will find their way back to you when you least expect it and most need it. Those moments when, as Louise Bourgeois would say, you are in need of a solution to a problem.
— Moyra Davey, “Polyvalence,” Art in America, January 2012.
I remember I wanted to get to non-art, non connotive, non anthropomorphic, non geometric, non, nothing, everything, but of another kind, vision, sort.
Eva Hesse, from a catalogue of her artwork, 1969.

Shakespeare & Company

  • Stranger : Do you work here?
  • Me : I volunteer. And it is only my first day, so I am not even legit yet. What are you doing here?
  • Stranger : Studying. I am what you call a studianté.
  • Me : You know that student in French is étudiant, right?
  • Stranger : Well I just started.

"Let’s meet up on strawberry"

I am losing my mother tongue. 

I had been in denial for a week, blaming my poor sentence structure and obsessive rereading a result of indulging in too much Ulysses. Then yesterday, I said “strawberry” instead of “Saturday”. Saying “strawberry” was the straw-breaking moment when I realized that my brain is not programmed for mastering two languages; it can only either master one or half-ass both. Thinking back over the past week, I realized that I had started speaking my English with a slight French accent to English-speaking French people because it was easier for them to understand. My mother tongue leaving me is obviously punishment for the betrayal. Now not only am I panicking about losing my flair for language, but neither my English nor my French sound proper anymore. 

I think I am going to start keeping my mouth shut. 

*20 minutes later: I just wrote rainbows instead of rain boots in a list of things to purchase.